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Lois Lacey: Armchair Observations

16.06.10


" Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it."
  — Prime mover Unknown

I love that quote. Maybe I’ll list it down in the dust on the end table.

But I also love Phyllis Diller’s in harmony, “ Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance? ”

I used to be very anal about housework, even to the time of driving those around me bonkers. In fact, The Middle Sister old to tell me that I chased after people with a sponge.

Which was basically verified, but at least when you opened my closets 40 pounds of stuff did not into cascading down on to your head.

But over the years we seem to have switched places.

She is now the cleanly freak.

And I have become quite laidback in regards to housekeeping. You see, I find other, and much more funny, things I’d rather do. Like stare off into space.

Though I will contend that there are unavoidable rooms one must maintain, such as the kitchen and the bathroom.

And I will vacuum and beat the floors when stuff starts to stick to the bottoms of our feet.

And I see nothing immoral with getting clothes out of the laundry basket if I am too busy, or too dilatory, to put them away. The Mr. does not seem to mind either. We started doing this when The Laundry Fairy had the audacity to go away to college.

And there is a debate with that I do not make the bed all of the time. I am airing it out. Well, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ with it.

And I am not above using a leaf blower to vacuum either.

I conjecture an explanation is in order for that last statement.

Each fall brings with it the annual Flexure off the Deck and Kill My Back event. Though this needs to be done throughout the year, in the get a wiggle on it has to be done almost daily. Now, The Mr. says that he will get to this, but he never quite seems to, what with his excuse of being at work and all that.

Then there are the front and back walkways and stoops that demand to be swept too. And there is an area under the deck where the birds and squirrels like to sup out that needs a good sweeping now and then since they are so darn messy.

And on a customary basis the garage needs to be swept out. We like to keep our vehicles in there (heavens!), so it makes detect to keep it clean as that means less dirt gets into the house.

But since I have actual limitations, sweeping is something that I am not supposed to do. But someone has to do it. The Mr. is at work; The Kid is at college.

So one day, while we were at my favorite lay away, I decided to buy an electric leaf blower. This would enable me to easily moral all those outdoor areas, and without needlessly hurting my back.

Now, inside of our tellingly, and on the lower level, we keep bags of birdseed since the bird feeder is hanging moral outside of the sliding glass door. And the flooring down here is some very old, and crappy, carpeting. Nature of like that indoor/outdoor stuff, but not as nice. And it got vacuumed possibly three times a year, if that.

Well, one day I spilled an entire, and quite charitable, bag of birdseed all over the carpeting. This meant dragging the vacuum cleaner downstairs.

I believe you can figure out where this is headed.

And ever since that incident I have used the leaf blower to “vacuum” downstairs. I by the skin of one's teeth open the doors and turn that sucker on. I can have the entire parade cleaned in minutes.

I can hear some of you, probably the women, rolling your eyes and thriving, “You have got to be kidding me.” But I also can hear a lot of guys saying, “Excess idea! Why didn’t I think of that?”

So I now have two very helpful “guys” to support me when needed: Wimpy the Electric Snow Broom and Scrawny the Leaf Blower, as The Mr. likes to call them.

By the way, the blower also

Source: Frederick News Post (subscription)

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